Tic and Tac: Rescue Rangers

Film critic

The Monterey Jack cheese habit was no secret. Hey, it was the 90s. Everyone was making cheese at the time. And since the Rescue Rangers star was, you know, named after a type of cheese, it was almost expected.

For a moment, it looked like he could handle it.

But Monty wasn’t content with cheddar. No. He moved on to the harder stuff, the smellier stuff. Limburgish. Camembert. Gorgonzola. You know how it is. And cheese like that is not cheap.

Soon, like so many cartoon rodents before him, Jack was in the Valley Gang hole. And when the ‘toons cross over into the Valley Gang, they’ve been known to…disappear. Deleted, you might say. Rumor has it that they ended up overseas, appearing in cheap and pirated versions of their own best work: The Little Fish Lady. Beauty and the Man with the Cursed Dog. Pooj the big honey bear.

In desperation, Monty calls up some old pals, friends from the TV days. Maybe they could get the Valley Gang off his back. Help him stay away from Edam, avoid Gruyère. And maybe, if all goes well, these old friends might even talk to each other again.

After all, the Chip ‘n Dale partnership didn’t end well. After a three-year run on the hit TV show Tic and Tac: Rescue RangersDale decided to go out on his own – starring in his own show, Double-O-Dale. “I’m sorry, Chip,” he said at the time. “I’m tired of being the second banana.”

He Should Have Known How Dodgy Disney Execs Can Be: Mouse House Shut Down Rescue Rangers, and Dale’s pilot was never recovered. Chip blamed Dale for their sudden career reversal, and the two chipmunks went their separate ways.

Chip has made a clean break from the profession. He sells insurance now, and he’s good at it. “In my experience, bad things happen all the time!” he tells his customers.

And Dale? He’s still fighting to be a star: A Sonny without Cher, a Garfunkel without Simon. He attends all fan events, connects on social networks. Why, he even underwent CGI surgery to stay plugged in, to stay relevant. And he hopes that, maybe, Rescue Rangers might even get a reboot due to fan demand. There’s even a Rescue Rangers fan page.

“A fan page on Facebook? Monty gasps. “They don’t just give them away!”

But Dale and Chip’s unexpected reunion at Jack’s apartment doesn’t go well. And it’s obvious that Monty still isn’t dairy-free. Chip leaves angrily – telling Monty that if he’s in any real problem, to give her a ring again.

But Monty never gets the chance. Shortly after, he disappears. The police ask Tic and Tac for statements, but they have little hope of saving their old friend. Not against the Valley Gang.

No, if Monty is to be saved, our animated chipmunks are going to have to save themselves.

Nuts.